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The Competition
Episode #3608

Dates Aired

  1. November 22, 1997
  2. February 21, 1998
  3. May 23, 1998
  4. August 22, 1998

Food of the Week

Unbaked potato topped with gummi worms and India ink


Lesson of the Day

Whenever you are in any type of competition, it is always important to play fair.


Song Lyrics


  • WAV: Al's Mailbag: Trivia Question RealAudio: Al's Mailbag: Trivia Question Al's Mailbag: Trivia Question
  • WAV: News Anchor Al: RealAudio: News Anchor Al: News Anchor Al: "Wolf..."
  • WAV: Kidnapped Radish RealAudio: Kidnapped Radish Kidnapped Radish
  • WAV: Radish RealAudio: Radish Radish
  • WAV: Parody RealAudio: Parody Parody
  • WAV: Lip Bomb RealAudio: Lip Bomb Lip Bomb
  • WAV: Wack a Squirrel RealAudio: Wack a Squirrel Wack a Squirrel
  • WAV: Fred Huggins' Acceptance Speech RealAudio: Fred Huggins' Acceptance Speech Fred Huggins' Acceptance Speech
  • WAV: Black Hole RealAudio: Black Hole Black Hole


  • Harvey rides a hang-glider.

27 References

  • No 27s have been found.


Al finds he's in the running for the Best TV Show Host of the Year Award. He channel surfs and finds Uncle Ralphie, another TV show host also in the running, who is bragging about how he's going to win and calls Al a loser. Al gets upset and soon the two are fighting and sabotaging each other's shows in order to win the award.

Fred Huggins ends up winning because he was the only TV show host to play fair and square. Al realizes that that is the only way to truly win and decides to do that for the award the next time.

Memorable Lines

Al: I've got a letter here from Mindy Grolution in Omaha, Nebraska. And Mindy writes...Oh! it's an answer to our trivia question. The question was, "What's the difference between a machine gun and Kenny G?" Let's see if she got it. Yes! A machine gun only repeats itself 30 times. Congratulations, Mindy. You undying respect.

News Anchor Al: Wolf raised by pack of human babies. Film at 11.

Al: Radish? What are you guys doing here? Val, what did you do?
Val: Don't you look at me like that Al. This is war! Remember?
Al: Yeah, I guess you're right. So Radish, what song will you be performing on my show today?
Radish Drummer: Your crazy!
Al: Oh, c'mon, sing a song, please?
Radish Bobby Brady Look-alike: You're completely out of your mind!
Al: Pretty please?
Radish Dreadhead: We're not doing your stupid show! You kidnapped us!
Al: I see. I see. Well then, maybe you'd like to watch the collected works of Pauly Shore!
Radish: NO!

Uncle Ralphie: Hey, kids. I'm Weird Ralph.
Al: What is he doing?!
Uncle Ralphie: And now, here's everyone's favorite rodent, my very, very best friend in the whole world, Marvin the Super Guinea Pig!
Al: How awful! How heartless! How could anyone sink so low as to do a parody of another human being! And making a guinea pig wear blue after Labor Day? What is he thinking?!

Al: Well, it's a good thing my brand new invention is an instant plastic surgery machine! Ah, I knew this thing would come in handy in a pinch! Let's give it a shot. Where's that mirror? (Looks in mirror and sees he's turned into Drew Carey.) Oh no! What have I done! Woo, that was scary.

Al: Giant wax lips! Just what I've always wanted! And they're...ticking! Oh no! Lip bomb!

Al: Y'know, all this espionage is making me kind of hungry. I think I'll pop out to the kitchen for a little nutrition break. Care to join me Val? Val? Ah, she's a slippery one, all right. Anyway, here's one of my favorite recipes. First, take a raw potato. DON'T WASH IT! Next, cut it in half with a blunt knife. Then sprinkle liberally with gummi worms. And finally, top with your favorite brand of India ink. Mmm, now that's good eatin'!
(Al takes a bite. He makes a disgusted face and spits out the food.)
Al: Somebody changed my favorite brand of ink with my very least favorite brand of ink!

Award Show Host: Now the winner of the Best TV Show Host Award goes to...But before I announce the winner, I just want to say something. Every day in our country, thousands of our youngsters go to amusement parks and arcades and play a supposedly innocent game called "Wack-a-Squirrel." Well, I personally don't find anything cute, charming, or fun about a game that openly encourages abuse and violence towards our furry rodent friends. And I urge you please, stop the insanity. Thank you. Now where was I. Oh yes, the winner of the Best TV Show Host Award is...the guy who played fair and square, Fred Huggins.
Al, Uncle Ralphie, and Puppets: What?!
Fred Huggins: I can't believe I won!
Papa and Baby Boolie: Neither can we!
Fred Huggins: The only thing that makes winning even better is that my two best friends in the world are here to share it with me.
Papa Boolie: Guess again, you freak!
Baby Boolie: I wanna go home.
Fred Huggins: I just wanna say this is the proudest moment of my life. Because now I know you like me, you really WHA!
(Huggins steps off the stage.)

Al: Until next time, keep your feet on the ground, keep your chin held high, and keep an extra pair of safety goggles handy because you never know when an interdimensional black hole is going to--AAAHH!

Plot and Review

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Al is nominated for the "Best t.v. show host" award. He is in contest with Fred Huggins (whom we have seen before) and some guy names Uncle Ralphie. Al and Uncle Ralphie get a little too involved in the competition, trying to sabotage each other's shows. In the end, they both lose the award to Mr. Huggins, who is too out of it to try to sabotage anything. They both learn a lesson in playing fair.

This was a cool episode. Al calls on the spying talents of Val Brentwood to help him. Every kid in the audience has wished at some time or another that he or she had a subversive friend to help him or her get revenge. The threat of getting too involved in competition is a real one, especially for kids. For maybe the third time all season Al hasn't had some crazy idea or bizarre notion of reality. It was a fun show to watch this week.

Radish appeared on this episode. Several guest stars have appeared on Al's show, which I think is a testiment to how irresistable Al is. Drew Carey made a very short cameo in this episode. Al stuck his head in his latest invention, a plastic surgery machine, and came out looking like Mr. Carey. I love these cameos.What I don't understand is why CBS isn't advertising this. For goodness' sake, Hansen was on! But did we hear a word about it prior to the show? CBS could have increased they 7-15 year old female audience five-fold if they'd made the fact that Hansen was going to be on known. All of those Barbie commercials didn't have to be in vain!

Back to Radish. I found that I actually like them. Who knew. I think that this new generation of music is signaling a return to the music of old, when it wasn't so angst-ridden. I look forward to it.

To everyone out there who watched the show, did you catch the lip bomb pun? It was the first pun I ever heard that I didn't groan at. There was a lot in this show at which I laughed out loud. Like when Baby Boolie barfed at the smell of Huggins' feet, when Al spit out his potato because it was covered with his least favorite brand of India Ink, and when Ralphie punished his sidekick, a clown named Mippy, by showing him the collected works of Pauly Shore.

Finally, I was so glad that Al learned his lesson through experience, in a realistic way, instead in sound byte-able wisdoms given by passing characters or the Hooded Avenger. This has been my favorite episode so far.

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