Food of the Week

Frozen waffle and sardine nachos

Guests

Musical guest The Bad Hair Band as Al's Band Teri Garr as Herself Victoria Jackson as Crying Woman

Lesson of the Day

It's important to acknowledge your mistakes, learn from them, and try to do better next time.

Pictures

Al and the Bad Hair Band

Song Lyrics

Yoda

Sounds

Al: What Should I Do to Celebrate? News Anchor Al: Today's Kid's Question Harvey's Birthday Presents Madame Judy: Al's Fortune Mind Your Manners Food of the Week: Frozen Waffle and Sardine Nachos Madame Judy: Message from Harvey Morpho Man "Weird Al" Yankovic - Yoda (Harvey's Birthday Version)

Stunts

Harvey performed no stunts this episode.

27 References

No 27s have been found.

Memorable Lines

Al: Let's see. I've worked tirelessly for days on end, and I've finally invented something that will change the very face of civilation as we know it! What should I do to celebrate? I know! Watch TV! Crying Woman (sobbing): You have no respect for me. That's what it all comes down to! And I refuse to be in a relationship where I am not respected! I'm leaving you. (Woman cries as she exits the house through the front door.) Woman: Goodbye! Oh-ho-ho-ho! (Woman sobs and leaves. Camera shows to whom she was talking, the family dog.) Announcer: Be sure to join us again tomorrow for The Young and the Housebroken. Al as News Anchor: Today's kid's question is from Lisa Holliday in Donnersgrove, Illinois, who asks, "Do anchormen really have anchors attached to them?" Of course not, Lisa. We have huge concrete blocks. Anchors haven't been used since the late '70s. Madame Judy: Okay, okay! Now me! Ohhhhhh! From my own collection, a crystal ball to guide your path. Look, you can see the future! Swirling in it already! The Hooded Avenger: Wait a minute, that's not the future. That's "Saved by the Bell." Cousin Corky: Hey! This thing's picking up cable! Everyone: Cool! Al: Oh, hey, Madame Judy. Madame Judy: Silence, toad! I am divining your future! Al: That's great, but I already know my future, and I don't really have time for this right now, so can we do this some other day, maybe? Madame Judy: Oh! I see that you are anxious! Oh! You are a very anxious person. Al: Anxious? That's not what you told me last time you told me my fortune. Madame Judy: Oooooh! The anxious man is soon bitten by...radioactive lobsters! Al: Good to know. Okay, Madame Judy, I really got to run. Just put this on my soothsaying tab, okay? Man, what a day this has been. Can you believe - (Al finally notices radioactive red lobsters clinging to his leg) OOOH! OOOH! SHE WAS RIGHT! Al: you know, Bobby, I would show you an educational film on the subject that I already showed you, but based on your recent behavior, I think there's another film you should watch. Announcer: What are manners? Manners are the rules we all live by that keep us from beating the living daylights out of each other. When Mary goes over to visit her friend Sally, and Sally tells her that she smells funny, that's not very good manners, is it? No. And it's liable to hurt her manners, too. What would a good host do? A polite host wears a sweater identical to the one his friend is wearing. That makes his guest feel at ease. What other ways can we be courteous? Well, when you attend a school assembly and you have to sit through a boring puppet show, don't talk. Don't say a word. Just act like it's the funniest thing you've ever seen in your life. Then get up and leave quickly before they do an encore. When eating in restaurants, remember: the left fork is for the salad, the middle fork is for the main course, and the last fork is for defending yourself against rabid wolverines. And most importantly, always remember those three magic words: please, thanks, and uvula. Try repeating these helpful phrases after me. "Please move, you're standing on my neck." "Thanks so much for the giant bag of goat droppings." "My, but you have a lovely uvula." I hope these little handy hints will help you to mind your manners. Al: All this time travel is making me kind of hungry. Before I go any further, I think I need a little nutrition break. So why don't we make frozen waffle and sardine nachos?! Now, you start with your waffles, heated or not, it's your choice. Then add the sardines. The nacho cheese. Then the jalapenos, motor oil, and the secret ingredient, shaved chocolate. Now personally, I like to shave the chocolate myself. Oh, and I prefer an electric razor over the blade kind. It just tastes better that way!

Plot and Review

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