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Time Machine
Episode #3609

Dates Aired

  1. October 11, 1997
  2. January 10, 1998
  3. April 11, 1998
  4. July 11, 1998

Food of the Week

Frozen waffle and sardine nachos


Lesson of the Day

It's important to acknowledge your mistakes, learn from them, and try to do better next time.


Song Lyrics


  • WAV: Al: What Should I Do to Celebrate? RealAudio: Al: What Should I Do to Celebrate? Al: What Should I Do to Celebrate?
  • WAV: News Anchor Al: Today's Kid's Question RealAudio: News Anchor Al: Today's Kid's Question News Anchor Al: Today's Kid's Question
  • WAV: Harvey's Birthday Presents RealAudio: Harvey's Birthday Presents Harvey's Birthday Presents
  • WAV: Madame Judy: Al's Fortune RealAudio: Madame Judy: Al's Fortune Madame Judy: Al's Fortune
  • WAV: Mind Your Manners RealAudio: Mind Your Manners Mind Your Manners
  • WAV: Food of the Week: Frozen Waffle and Sardine Nachos RealAudio: Food of the Week: Frozen Waffle and Sardine Nachos Food of the Week: Frozen Waffle and Sardine Nachos
  • WAV: Madame Judy: Message from Harvey RealAudio: Madame Judy: Message from Harvey Madame Judy: Message from Harvey
  • WAV: Morpho Man RealAudio: Morpho Man Morpho Man
  • WAV: "Weird Al" Yankovic - Yoda (Harvey's Birthday Version) RealAudio: "Weird Al" Yankovic - Yoda (Harvey's Birthday Version) "Weird Al" Yankovic - Yoda (Harvey's Birthday Version)


  • Harvey performed no stunts this episode.

27 References

  • No 27s have been found.


Al forgets Harvey's birthday. To rectify this, he goes back in time to find time to get Harvey a gift. Unfortunately, Al keeps causing more and more problems for himself. Eventually, he is tripped by a Russian dancer and knocked unconcious. When he awakens, it's time for Harvey's birthday party. Al feels bad until Madame Judy channels Harvey and discovers that Harvey only wants Al to sing for his birthday. Al is elated to do so and brings out the Bad Hair Band and they perform "Yoda."

Memorable Lines

Al: Let's see. I've worked tirelessly for days on end, and I've finally invented something that will change the very face of civilation as we know it! What should I do to celebrate? I know! Watch TV!

Crying Woman (sobbing): You have no respect for me. That's what it all comes down to! And I refuse to be in a relationship where I am not respected! I'm leaving you.
(Woman cries as she exits the house through the front door.)
Woman: Goodbye! Oh-ho-ho-ho!
(Woman sobs and leaves. Camera shows to whom she was talking, the family dog.)
Announcer: Be sure to join us again tomorrow for The Young and the Housebroken.

Al as News Anchor: Today's kid's question is from Lisa Holliday in Donnersgrove, Illinois, who asks, "Do anchormen really have anchors attached to them?" Of course not, Lisa. We have huge concrete blocks. Anchors haven't been used since the late '70s.

Madame Judy: Okay, okay! Now me! Ohhhhhh! From my own collection, a crystal ball to guide your path. Look, you can see the future! Swirling in it already!
The Hooded Avenger: Wait a minute, that's not the future. That's "Saved by the Bell."
Cousin Corky: Hey! This thing's picking up cable!
Everyone: Cool!

Al: Oh, hey, Madame Judy.
Madame Judy: Silence, toad! I am divining your future!
Al: That's great, but I already know my future, and I don't really have time for this right now, so can we do this some other day, maybe?
Madame Judy: Oh! I see that you are anxious! Oh! You are a very anxious person.
Al: Anxious? That's not what you told me last time you told me my fortune.
Madame Judy: Oooooh! The anxious man is soon bitten by...radioactive lobsters!
Al: Good to know. Okay, Madame Judy, I really got to run. Just put this on my soothsaying tab, okay? Man, what a day this has been. Can you believe - (Al finally notices radioactive red lobsters clinging to his leg) OOOH! OOOH! SHE WAS RIGHT!

Al: you know, Bobby, I would show you an educational film on the subject that I already showed you, but based on your recent behavior, I think there's another film you should watch.

    Announcer: What are manners? Manners are the rules we all live by that keep us from beating the living daylights out of each other. When Mary goes over to visit her friend Sally, and Sally tells her that she smells funny, that's not very good manners, is it? No. And it's liable to hurt her manners, too.

    What would a good host do? A polite host wears a sweater identical to the one his friend is wearing. That makes his guest feel at ease.

    What other ways can we be courteous? Well, when you attend a school assembly and you have to sit through a boring puppet show, don't talk. Don't say a word. Just act like it's the funniest thing you've ever seen in your life. Then get up and leave quickly before they do an encore.

    When eating in restaurants, remember: the left fork is for the salad, the middle fork is for the main course, and the last fork is for defending yourself against rabid wolverines.

    And most importantly, always remember those three magic words: please, thanks, and uvula. Try repeating these helpful phrases after me. "Please move, you're standing on my neck." "Thanks so much for the giant bag of goat droppings." "My, but you have a lovely uvula." I hope these little handy hints will help you to mind your manners.

Al: All this time travel is making me kind of hungry. Before I go any further, I think I need a little nutrition break. So why don't we make frozen waffle and sardine nachos?! Now, you start with your waffles, heated or not, it's your choice. Then add the sardines. The nacho cheese. Then the jalapenos, motor oil, and the secret ingredient, shaved chocolate. Now personally, I like to shave the chocolate myself. Oh, and I prefer an electric razor over the blade kind. It just tastes better that way!

Plot and Review

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Al forgets Harvey's birthday, so he uses his time machine to go back in time to get his friend a present. As usual, his plans go awry, and he ends up having to come clean to his critter buddy. Harvey forgives his caretaker, and asks for just a song as a gift. Aw.

Well, if the airing of this show is any indication, then Harvey's birthday is the same as mine. Isn't that cool? It's my brush with greatness!

This show was great. It totally made sense. Even though the idea of having a time machine is fantastic, the situation Al got into was a realistic situation. I mean, who hasn't forgotten a special day for someone important to him? And Al reacted like a normal person, not a moron. Though there weren't as many cute, creative things in this episode as there have been in past ones, the higher level of general quality makes up for it. Al might not have found time to watch t.v., but he was kicked in the head by a dancer. He gets points for that.

Plus, it had a sweet little ending, with Harvey forgiving Al and asking for a birthday song. Al learned the lesson on his own, it wasn't the Hooded Avenger or some other character that drove it home in tidy, network-approved, declarative sentences. Nice appearance by the band, as well.

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